The sound of insanity.

I lay in my bed knowing of the bad.  Feeling self conscious and hateful towards everything.  I lay awake knowing that all I can have is bad.  All I can be is useless.  All I can do is fail and fail and fail again.  Perfect proof of failage comes from you, and her, and him.  My job, my apartment, my weight, my skills, my fears.

So I close my eyes and hear foot steps.  I shiver, I fear.  I get up and grab anything.  Take a look around.  Around every corner.  Inside every closet.   Why am I so unable to find this foot step?  I creep back to my room and close the door.  Baracade it.  Surely, if someone is here I will hear.  Secretly, I wish someone was there.  I don't want to be lonely anymore.  

Friends?  Everyone is an intentional bigot.  Everyone wants to be so unique and I just want to be the same.  Why can't I follow the lead of you?